Tea and Talk: Discussions on Marriage and Family Life

The night before my wedding, I was running up and about my parents house trying to get things ready for the next day, I was also hot on my mom’s heels trying to get her away from more than 30, yes you read right , relatives who had camped at our house for the night. I wasn’t going to let her send me to be married without a few tips on what to do with a man. I knew a lot of things but I had no clue about marriage, I was relentless, she finally gave me a five minute talk.

I wish I could start the sentence with, 30 years later my daughter asked me the same questions…., Nope! Soon after our first wedding anniversary, a lot of young adults, both men and women, in our ministry circle started asking questions about marriage. I realized that there was a part of our African culture that we left behind during the colonial period and now we have what I refer to as the “post, post colonial generation” with a void. Unlike our parents and grand parents, we do not have aunties and uncles who intentionally engage us about relationships and marriage. This was something that was a part of the African tradition but is forgotten, and there fore we still have questions with no one designated to answer them. This big void is being filled with alternative movements, for example in Nairobi Kenya, someone organizes a party every year, project X, that lure young adults into perverted behaviour. These young minds are looking for answers, unfortunately the ones responding have ulterior motives.


Tea and talk was a response to the many questions. I ( Lucy Chaves) invited a couple I had known in my years at Youth for Christ, they worked with young people and faced similar questions and so in December of 2016, a mentorship program began, we allowed the audience to ask questions and we responded as best as we could, it was amazing to see how our responses, were similar especially in matters guided by faith. We had no prior meetings to discuss what our responses should be, we prayed and decided that we would focus on how our faith impacts our relationships. It was beautiful. We had a follow up training in June and this time around we had four other couples join us. The one thing that remained constant was that Christ was such a unifying factor and a Redeemer of our identities. The couples were from different tribes while Dave and I are from different races but despite that, whenever Christ was the center of our response there was a lot on unity.

The first event attracted 20 participants while the second one attracted 50 eager participants who made us promise to hold another session.

We are in prayers about how to fill the void of mentorship in those regards and how to continue in a Christ centered way so that we may impact the next generation of Kenyan families. Pray for our next Tea and Talk in February 2018.